Let go of effort and embrace ease

It’s like the force and effort I am putting into it pushes the very think I want further away.

That’s what happened yesterday…..

It took me half a day to write this blog! That may not sound like a long time but I can often sit down and get a blog written and on my website in just over an hour. So, what was different yesterday?

I had a whole afternoon with no client calls and no other work commitments so I decided I’d use the time productively and write a blog to put in my next A Moment of Insight newsletter. I had a couple of topics in mind but nothing clear, my intention was just to write a blog and so I sat down in my sunroom with my laptop and started to tap away on the keyboard. 

Now, if I had been working on a typewriter I would have run out of Tippex or paper! I wrote and deleted and rewrote and deleted more times than I can count. And the more I started with a new blank page the more frustrated I became. The words were just not flowing and in fact the ideas were just not flowing either. I was in force mode! 

I know this place, it is familiar to me and it comes from wanting things to be a certain way. Wanting things to happen when I want, how I want and with the outcome I want. (Do you see how much “I wanting” is in there?!). So, today I had decided I wanted to write a blog and, in an arrogant way, I just expected everything to fall into place. 

Is that a place you are familiar with too?

You’ll know it if it is because it feels frustrating. You find yourself using more and more effort and force, a bit like trying to squeeze a duvet back into the bag you bought it in. You get one side to fit in and the other side pops out. You kind of know it’s not going to fit but you keep pushing anyway!

It could be a simple task like writing a blog or a report, or doing the gardening or fixing something around the house. Or it could be something that feels more significant like a relationship, a job or running a business. The common theme is we are trying to make something fit our ideal when our experience is showing us that it’s not working out that way.

We all have places in our lives where we push and force and try to control the outcome. And what we see over time is that the more we push the less we get what we want, we just end up bent out of shape from trying and pissed off in the process.

But there is another way.

What I did (to finally get a blog published for you to read) was close my laptop, make a cup of tea and I sit and look out of the window. I did that for 45 minutes or so and then I felt the energy change. There was a loosening and a softening in the body and the mind. It felt like I relaxed and let go of the need to have the blog written today.  Ahh, the relief!

And that is the key point……letting go of the need to have things as we want them to be. When we let ourselves off the hook of "need" and "want" and "control" we create the space for  the energy to shift.  The energy moves from force and effort to ease and allowing. And let me tell you it feels SO much better! 

I didn’t finish the blog yesterday but when I came back to it today I felt so much lighter. It has been a wonderful reminder for me that when I feel force, effort, control and single minded determination that something WILL work out the way I want it to, I need to step back and give myself some space. And that is my invitation to you. It doesn’t really matter what you DO in that space it is simply about letting your energy shift. 

The forceful energy can dissipate if you are not continuing to push. A new energy can emerge, one which is more easeful and often more creative. It is something about letting go of the need to make things happen that allows things to happen in their own way (which is quite frankly often a much better way than the way we have imagined!).

So here I am at the end of the blog which wrote itself! 

I wonder where you can ease off on the force and effort and create the space for something new and wonderful to emerge?