Find your way back to your comfort zone

Broken night’s sleep, restricted movement, persistent pain and a mind that is judging the experience, analysing it and trying to find a way to make it go away. I am very much in my dis-comfort zone!

For over 9 weeks I have had something going on with my shoulder which has created uncomfortable sensations in the body which has, in turn, created emotions of frustration, irritation and something bordering on anger at its persistent nature and the fact that there doesn’t seem to be a diagnosis for what it is or what is causing it. 

Faced with three choices;

1. grin and bear it, carry on as normal and hope it goes away,
2. seek out as many people as possible who might be able to tell me what the problem is and then make it go away or
3. lean into it and discover what it is offering me as a fresh insight into my present moment experience.

Which choice do you think I made?

Yes, you guessed it, I started at 1 and have now arrived at 3!  Since it hasn’t gone away, no one has been able to diagnose the problem nor offer a solution to it I find myself at option 3 which is, I suspect, where I should have started. 

I have leaned into the experience with curiosity and asked “what is this discomfort here for?”.

I know. It is not always easy to even consider that something painful, challenging, unpleasant or (what the mind might label as “wrong”) could offer something good let alone believe it.  But it is worth a shot.  And this isn’t just about thinking positively about things. It is amazing what can happen when we are willing to see another perspective to a situation. It opens up something within us which relaxes the mind and helps it release its grip on the one perspective we are holding as right and true and real.

As I woke up from yet another broken night’s sleep with the familiar nerve pain radiating up my neck from my shoulder and the numbness and tingling in my arm, I finally gave in. I finally gave up my quest to make this go away and instead asked what this could possibly be trying to show me.  And it struck me like a bolt. No really! It was a bit like a sudden flash of inspiration…..

I was experiencing discomfort.  I was well and truly outside of my physical comfort zone and I dearly wanted to find my way back to it and to experience the body without pain again. Then the realisation hit me……I have spent so much of my life taking myself out of my comfort zone in the name of personal growth and development, of fully experiencing life, of having adventures, of making myself a little bit scared and always believing it was good for me to be in that other zone – the Growth Zone some might call it.

Don’t get me wrong. It is really good to experience life from outside of our comfort zone and I have had some amazing experiences in doing so, but it’s also great to be able to find our way back there when we need to. And, that is a message I don’t think is shared nearly as much as the more common narrative that “life happens on the edge of your comfort zone”, “success in life lies beyond your comfort zone”, “your life will only change if you step outside of your comfort zone” and even “your comfort zone is your danger zone”. In fact, a Google search returned nearly 7 million results for “step out of your comfort zone” and just over 3 million results for “stay in your comfort zone” but interestingly, most of those were actually pointing towards messages about going outside your comfort zone too!

So, there is a very common message that we are being fed which is that to be in your comfort zone is not the place to be and that somehow your life will be a lesser experience if you are there. But my recent experience has shone a different light on all of that. My body would dearly love to find its way back to its comfort zone, to be free from the pain and tension it has been feeling. It is seeking equilibrium and balance again after many years of intense exercise and physical challenge and my mind would dearly love to not be worrying about what is going on in the body and to feel free again.  And so this experience, painful as it has been, has helped me see my comfort zone in a whole new light!

My invitation to you is to look at where in your life you are being called to step into your comfort zone? 

• Where do you need to find some more balance, to feel more relaxed, at ease and less in force and effort mode?
• What difference would it make to your experience if your mind was able to let go of the need to be in control?
• What would it be like if you could give up striving to make things happen and instead allowed yourself to be just as you are in this moment – nothing to achieve?

I have already felt the pain easing as I sit with this treasure, this new insight. Challenging the narrative that a life truly lived is one where we are pushing ourselves and bettering ourselves and making space for more periods of okay-ness, to feel comfortable, content, peaceful and at ease.

Imagine a life lived from that perspective!