It has been becoming clearer and clearer to me that that we can create a very different experience for ourselves and others than the one we are living but that it requires a willingness to go on an adventure (an adventure of a lifetime perhaps!).
I have always had this belief. Even as a young child I had a sense that life was about enjoyment and happiness and I didn’t get the perspective that life is hard and something we have to learn to “get through”. Somehow I just knew that it didn’t have to be that way, that it was possible to experience life differently but, as happens with many of us, I got caught up in the collective culture of the West and found myself working hard to be successful, conforming to expectations and seeking validation from others to feel good about myself and my contribution to the world. In effect, I set out to be as good a human being as I could be and to be as effective at “doing” life as I could.
In the pursuit of achieving success and navigating the challenges we encounter at each stage of life it seems many of us lose touch with who we are and what life is really all about. It’s like we become distant pen pals to that part of ourselves. Going from the strong intimate connection that comes with regular honest and vulnerable communication, sharing what is going on in our world, our hopes and dreams and offering a sense of support, understanding and reassurance. To a sporadic and increasingly superficial relationship as life becomes distracting, and maintaining a deeper connection moves down the priority list in favour of wrestling to stay on top of the overwhelm of a busy life.
But maybe, like me, you have felt the intermittent nudge to reconnect and hang out with the carefree, relaxed version of yourself that you remember from an earlier time in your life.
We begin this adventure of a lifetime as wide open, expansive, creative, loving, curious and innately wise little beings full of possibility, potential and optimism. But through our experience of interacting with others and the world around us we, unconsciously, wrap ourselves up in patterns of behaving and thinking which serve to protect us from the perceived risk of following that childlike energy. In doing so we mute the bountiful energy that we come into this world filled with and find ourselves living from an energy born out of a desire to know, to be in control, to fit in to which ever group or tribe we are close to and to succeed at this game of life in ways defined by others. We become like a padded version of our former childlike selves, protected, numbed and out of touch with who we really are, often without even realising this is what’s happened.
Then we hit a point which causes us to start to ask questions of ourselves and the world around us again. It may be the midpoint of life or when there is a transition happening (children leaving home, end of a relationship, retirement, living with an illness) which can cause an existential crisis of some sort. We start to question who we are, why we are here, what our future looks like and what the point of our lives is. When that happens it’s like beginning a game of pass the parcel.
Remember as a child passing that big package around a circle, hoping for the music to stop so you could unwrap it and get closer to the prize in the middle? Peeling back the layers, one by one, seeing what lies beneath and getting more of an impression of the shape of what sits right in the middle. It was fun, exciting and you were totally focused on discovering that prize. In many ways, this adventure of a lifetime is like that game of pass the parcel! Its sole purpose is about rediscovering who lies beneath all the layers of conditioning, programming, habits and identities and in the process of rediscovery we start to show up differently in the world. The beautiful thing about that is……when we show up differently in the world, the world shows up differently for us. It sets in motion a creative transformation which has infinite possibilities for how you can experience life.
The layers of ‘wrapping paper’ are ego programmes, they are ways we have learnt to navigate the world around us. Helpful up to a point but most of us reach a place when we feel the constraining nature of them, we feel so out of touch with the feelings of peace and joy and fulfilment, wonder and awe that were an everyday occurrence as a child and we start to ask why and how to reconnect with that part of ourselves again.
The wonderful thing is it is always, and has always been there, like the gift in the middle of the parcel, and so life is really an experience of rediscovering, reconnecting and unlearning what we think we know.
There is no right way to do this. There is no quick 10 step process or hack which will get you to a place of enlightenment in the next 30 days. It is a journey which requires a willingness to be uncomfortable, to feel disoriented, to see the world and yourself and others differently and the courage to stay on the path when you feel drawn back to the comfort and familiarity of doing things the way you’ve always done them. It also requires a deep desire to be free from all of the layers and old ways of being in order to experience the simplicity and wonder of life again. What you get in return is a sense of inner balance and peace which enables you to face into any and all situations with more confidence, clarity and coherence.
It isn’t an adventure of a lifetime in the sense that it’s a one off, never to be repeated experience. It’s an adventure of a lifetime because (and to quote very famous song lyrics!) every breath you take and every move you make are invitations to journey further into this different way of being.
If reading this has resonated and sparked your curiosity about your own adventure of a lifetime, perhaps you might be interested in joining the upcoming
Inner Work Summer School - 3 weeks to begin or go deeper on your own adventure of a lifetime.
Check out the IWSS page here.
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