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Who are your unexpected teachers?

Susan Grandfield • Apr 01, 2021

(and what treasure do they have for you?)


Who have been your teachers?

You might notice your mind taking you back to school and recalling the slightly eccentric maths teacher, the strict French teacher or the good looking art teacher (perhaps just me!) you had years ago. Or perhaps your piano teacher, football coach, dance teacher or driving instructor comes to mind.

They have all taught you something, for sure. But what about all the other teachers in your life? 

The many, many other people who have offered you the opportunity to learn something new or see things from a different perspective. Whether you took that opportunity and gained that new perspective is a different matter but the point is they appeared in your life at a time when there was something new for you to discover.

Treasure.

That’s what was yours to discover - the treasure, the gold, the gifts of life that have the potential to transform or change the course of your life.  

Treasure comes in so many different forms and mostly not in a big wooden chest with a large bass padlock! Sometimes the treasure is subtle. So subtle that you miss it if you are not looking for it but it is no less powerful than the big bars of gold.

I would like to suggest to you that the treasure that means the most and has the most transformative effect is the treasure that we miss or that we catch a glimpse of and then disregard. That treasure often comes from the most surprising sources.

Everyone can teach us something about ourselves. How people respond to us, how people behaviour around us, what people expect of us and how we feel around them are all offers of wonderful treasure.

In my experience, the people who we find most frustrating or who irritate us are often our best teachers! They are mirroring back to us something that we can learn about ourselves.  

Here are some examples you may recognise in yourself:

  • Someone who is opinionated and always needs to have the last word in an argument may be mirroring back your need to be heard more.
  • Someone who sees the worst case scenario and brings a pessimistic tone to a conversation may be mirroring back your fears about the future.
  • Someone who wants to be the leader and makes plans on everyone’s behalf may be mirroring back your desire to step up more and take control.
  • Someone who sits quietly and doesn’t engage with the group may be mirroring back your longing for solitude.

Do any of these resonate?  
Can you identify your own version of these?

Choose someone in your life that you have a difficult relationship with or who has ways of being that rub you up the wrong way and bring to mind what it is that irritates you or frustrates you about them. Now turn that around and look at yourself through that lens.  When do you do that?   How does that show up in your behaviour or thinking?

At first you might not notice it (or accept it!) but if you are willing to see it, it is highly likely that the thing you see in someone else is something that is present in you as well and THAT is the treasure. They have been your teacher. They have mirrored back to you in such a beautiful way something that you may not have seen in yourself. It is not always easy to accept but all you need to do right now is take this first step to see that there is treasure there for you.

Noticing that has allowed me to be more accepting of others and to allow them to be exactly as they are. I used to want people to be different so that I would feel better around them but I realise that would mean I miss out on so much wonderful treasure. So now, I am grateful and appreciative of them and understand why they are in my life.  

They are all my teachers.


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